Monday, October 13, 2008
Cynical? Sarcastic?

Okay I've decided to be less cynical and sarcastic about the world around me. If you put aside the drawbacks, the world is actually quite a beautiful place to be in if you get what I mean. Matt said my blog was cynical, so fine, now it's less. I won't ascertain that it won't be cynical and sarcastic, but probably a great deal less. But I'm still entitled to saying what I feel and saying LOLCAT when I want to okay?

Sigh slept at 3 last night. For some reason I just couldn't fall asleep. If you didn't know(you didn't), my father went away to some country(I can't remember, okay?) for like a week for work. He came back at 2 yesterday. I could hear his phone call. I could hear my mom leaving the house. I could hear them coming back. I could hear the clang of the suitcases. I could hear it all, in the little corner of my room. Isn't it weird, that when you try to sleep, everything just goes by so slowly? Isn't it weird, that when you're all alone in that dark room, everything just seems so distant, yet so near. Isn't life just weird?

I don't know what I was doing yesterday, just lying in bed. I was thinking, I guess. As much as I told myself to shut up, I couldn't. I was still pretty damn wide awake, if you'd ask me. I was thinking, really. I was thinking of things, about me, about my identity in this world, and about my friends. Why did I start this blog, actually? Was it a desperate attempt for attention? Was it really for me to pen(keyboard) down my emotions? Was it just a fad? Maybe. Life is just so weird. So many facades, so hard to keep them all up. I feel like just ripping them up, just to be me. But I guess I can't, and I doubt I really will.

Now now, is it really safe for me to divulge so many of my secrets on the net? I wonder. I'm not that close to anyone, I guess. Not Matthew, he can be a real (insert censored word here) sometimes, Darren's not serious enough. I'm drifting from Ken. Yuxuan is a bugger.(Just Kidding you're still my friend but you're a jester). Not Nicholas, he's retarded sometimes. Not Jerome, he's probably too busy watching animu and probably doesn't care. Li Hong would laugh at me then break all ties with me. Jia Wei would just be gay.

I'm not like others, I ain't gonna apologise for the emo post. I know it's emo, but it's what I feel. I'm entitled to it.